*Warning and apologies for a somewhat EMO post*



Home sweet home – a phrase meant to be comforting somehow seems so disconcerting right now.

2 days ago in Vietnam, my brother was happily counting down the days till we get back home. I asked him why he was so happy to go home, and he looked back at me incredulously and said, you mean you're not?

No, not quite, was my answer. Because now that I'm back, the harsh reality is drawing closer, and I'm not ready to accept it. I'm still praying and waiting for my miracle healing to take place, but time, time is running out.

That's what my parents keep telling me, I'm not recovering fast enough to go for my obk trip. They go on talking/nagging about it, and it just triggers my tear well. Sometimes I retort back, I'll be fine in time. Other times, I just lose the little energy and hope left in me, and I break down and cry.

I've been crying so much for the past 2 weeks, I think I could flood the big drain along Siglap Park Connector with my tears. I cry every night in my sleep, and every now and again when nightmarish scenes play in my normally unimaginative mind.

It hurts. The physical pain tortured me the first few days. And when that subsided, the warning of not being able to go for my obk trip just tormented me. Present tense actually.

My recovery rate is way too slow, much slower than what the chinese physician said. The sinseh said I would be able to walk normally in 3 days. I took 5 days in crutches alone, and much more than 1 week to walk normally. Even now at 2 weeks, I'm still semi-limping, I'm still not walking normally. The sinseh said I would be able to recover in around 10 days. As I said, it's 2 weeks, and I'm still not well.

I only have a few more days. A few more days before the final decision on my being able to go for obk is made. A few more days for a miracle to take place.

I'm praying so so hard. I haven't given up. The odds are all against me, strongly against me, I know. But I'm still holding on to that glimmer of hope, until the final decision is made.

A few more days. That's still a long way more. So much can happen.

Signing off,
`QUEEN.

Tagged by Shiyun this time.. Here goes!

1. Who's the person that tagged you? Shiyun!
2. Relationship between you and her? friends. =)
3. Three impressions of her? loves pink, chuck bass, and is a nice fella. =)
4. If she becomes your enemy, you will? dun think she will.
5. What will you say to the person you like very much? hah. i dunno!
6. Characteristic i like about myself? hah. i dunno!
7. Characteristic i hate about myself? hah. i dunno!
8. For the person whom you hate, you say? =X
9. What do people feel about you? probably perfectionistic, mean.. TC people i mean. =X
10. Your crush? say, Akanishi Jin? LOL.
11. Pass this to 10 people.
1.Shiyun. 2.Alyba. 3.Li Hui. 4.Kai Ru. 5.Fang Ru. 6.Hui Ping. 7.Daphne. 8.Grace 9. Phoebe 10.Michelle
12. If 5 & 7 were together? oh dear.. they wouldnt be.
13. who does 5 like? me of course! =))
14. What colour does 9 like? no idea. =X
15. Say something about 8. she's my dear?!
16. Who is 2? the merlion who's a super anime fan. =))
17. Talk about 3. shiyun's wife who's earning her high tea money right now. LOL! =)
18. Who is 10's best friend? Mavis? Grace? Phoebe? Linda? Daphne? Amanda?
19. Who's the sexiest among all 10? dunno!
20. What colour does 4 like? pink? blue? quite a number of colours i guess.
21. Is 4 single? she would rather not be. =)
22. Your relationship with 1. my friend!
23. Are 5 & 6 best friends? good friends. =)
24. 9's surname? Tham. Phoebe Tham. right?
25. 7's nickname? COW. =)
26. Say something to 8. hello! happy __ days!
27. Say something to help 9. there's always people behind you! =)
28. Who does 1 admire? Chuck Bass. though it may have already changed to someone in 90210. =))
29. Where does 1 live? along the route of bus25. i should know that! haha. =)
30. 10 of them know who you like? if they read my blog they should know! Akanishi!
31. Say something to 6 when you see her. hello! =)
32. 10's spouse? dunno!

The days are flying past, so tell me why why why, why is my ankle still so swollen, why can't I walk properly!!

How am I going to go on my holiday in like, 3 days time!

I'm an absolute liability to be around. Nevermind that I'm moving slow, but I'm slowing the people around me too! Feel so bad. But well at the same time, thank you everyone for all the tlc? Haha.



Okayy Vicky tagged me, so I guess I shall just do the quiz. It's been a long time anw.


Three names you go by:
- grace
- chow/chowchow
- chowie

Three screen names you have:
- QUEEN(duh!)
- mrsjung(ahahaha!)
- brok3nangeL(uh, dont ask, it's a really oldddd name i just kinda stuck with when i couldn't think of anything better during the ancient ages.)

Three parts of your heritage:
(i dont get this qn, but wth)
- family
- friends
- no idea?!(okay copied vicky's, lol)

Three things that scare you:
- HAVING AN ANKLE SPRAIN!!
- pain
- tickles?(no really T.T)

Three of your everyday essentials:
- handphone!
- money
- the card to my estate

Three things you're wearing now:
- jacket
- tk sec2 cohort camp tee
- black fbt

Three of your favourite songs:
- Not Young by U-KISS(we danced to this for our obk pre-course activity ytd and today.. uh, I mean I just watched luhh.)
- Mirotic by Dongbangshingi
- Nobody by Wonder Girls

Two truths and a lie in no particular order:
- i'm in love with jung yunho
- i'm jung yunho's wife
- kim kibum from ukiss smiled at ME
(ahahaha.. looks like ALL ARE TRUE huhh! xP)

Three of your favourite hobbies:
(Vicky: -.-' in response to your "playing chess with Zhou Gong")
- listening to music
- dongbang-ing/fangirl-ing
- playing floorball!

Three things you want to do really badly now:
- I WANT TO WALK NORMALLY!!!
- JUMP AND RUN AND GO FOR TRAINING
- GO SHOPPING!(with cash from uh, dropping from the sky, ha!)

Three careers you're considering:
(realistic careers or not? cause all those in my mind and pretty hard. but yeah, i'll just keep dreaming and dreaming..)
- discovery travel & living travel host! (talk and TRAVEL for a living! job = holiday, cool or cool huhh.)
- radio deejay (talk talk talk for a living!)
- CEO of some big and successful company (dont burst my bubble, i'm still in my lala land)

Three places you want to go on vacation to:
- JAPAN! (like i should have been going this yr if not for STUPID RECESSION, rahh!)
- Korea (OBK does not count as a typical vacation)
- France/Paris
(i've a lot more on the list actually..)

Three things you want to do before you die:
- travel the world
- see dongbang in real life
- (copying vicky; shall not insert here!)

Three things that make you stereotypically a boy:
- i think there are a lot of pretty and hot girls around! (but i'm straight, dont worry!)
- ??
- ??
(i have no idea, i don't think i'm very boy-ish? enlighten me, my dear friends. haha)

Three things that make you stereotypically a girl:
- i have a lot of pink stuff, but NOT ON PURPOSE, really
- i fangirl just like vicky does
- i like to shop (but sadly, i dont have much cashflow to do so! T.T)

Three people that you would like to see take this quiz:
- Phoebe! (your socks are so striking, i make out your face clearly from a far but i still know it's you! xP)
- Michelle!
- actually, EVERYONE READING THIS (ahaha!)



That was really really reallyyyyyy long! Zzz. Going off, I should go pack at least part of my bag before my parents start nagging!

`QUEEN. (:

Scared to know,

Was tagged by Alybaaa plus since i'm bored, shall do the quiz! =))

-----
Three names you go by:
- vicky
- ky (read: kii)
- daddy?! haha.
and others.

Three screen names you have:
- ヴィッキ一
- 'cess
- (shall not insert here!)

Three parts of your heritage:
- family
- friends! =))
- (no idea?!)

Three things that scare you:
- horrifying, scary stuff?
- the unknown
- (shall not continue!)

Three of your everyday essentials:
- wallet
- phone
- keys
i'm assuming when going out okay. haha

Three things you're wearing now:
- clothes (obviously!)
- specs
- rubberband counted?

Three of your favourite songs:
- 1 2 3 4 (currently though. i get sick of songs fairly easily =X )
- 君を想うとき
- Alybaaa's blog songs. hahaha! =))
have many more to add but i cant choose which!

Two truths and a lie in no particular order:
- i'm a guy (totally someone's answer but i dont care, i'm using that too!)
- i'm fickle
- i smile a lot =)

Three of your favourite hobbies:
- playing chess with Zhou Gong (hahaha Grace!)
- listening to songs, especially live versions i guess?
- can i say, KAT-TUN?

Three things you want to do really badly now:
- complete this thing asap! im running low on patience! =X
- watch KAT-TUN's new mv, which sadly, hasn't come out yet?
- (i dunno already!)

Three careers you're considering:
- hotelier! =X (basically something in the hotel/travel industry?)
- (anything which has nothing to do with science!)
- (i dunno already!)

Three places you want to go on vacation to:
- JAPAN!
- Manchester =)
- Taiwan

Three things you want to do before you die:
- spend time with family and friends
- go to japan again! =)
- (shall not insert here!)
this question sounds so solemn i dont like it. =(

Three things that make you stereotypically a boy:
- i like watching soccer
- i look at girls together with my guy friends? =X
- i grew up with 2 guys, so think about how i would behave? =)

Three things that make you stereotypically a girl:
- i have pink stuff!
- i fangirl (well not that crazy but yeah.)
- (shall not insert here! )

Three people that you would like to see take this quiz:
- merlions who have a blog! (well those who i know have blogs got tagged by Alybaaa.)
- Grace, fellow blog-mistress
- Daphne COW
and anyone and everyone else who's interested! =))

-----

i realised i should have changed all the questions to "Two ________" instead, haha, 'cause somehow i ended up giving 2 answers to most of the questions. LOL!

well people, have fun doing this and dont lose your patience the way i did! =))

happy holidays!

'cess

Sigh sigh, I totally sprained my ankle at such a bad time! I NEED TO RECOVER FAST FAST FAST.

I want to be able to move around normally! I need to at least be able to TRAVEL around without a risk! I wanna go out! I wanna go for training! I NEED to exercise! I NEED to be able to be fit enough for OBK! Rahhhhh. ><"

Exasperated,
`QUEEN.

Happy one month dear!

hmmm. thanks for being encouraging and nice, for giving me confidence during the OP rehearsals in the past. [no im not gonna get mushy! NEVER! =) ] mad kow disease is a terrible disease to get, never never get it! but oh well, i've had my fair share of disturbing you too. =) but, yay to us for having successfully converted Kow to a fangirl. LOL!

here's one picture of Yun Ho for you in the hope it lessens the pain of your ankle! haha.



Get loads of rest okay! =)

'cess

Gosh, I can't believe my luck. I sprained my ankle during training today! It hurts like hell, even now. You won't believe the amount of tears I've shed today. Did anyone hear a scream coming from somewhere around kembangan? Or maybe the sinseh thought of building sound proof walls. Ackk. I'm a sucker for pain. T.T

I'm a freaking liability to be around right now. I can't walk around properly. I've to get people to do stuff for me. Funny though, I've a bell in my room and in the living room downstairs, just in case I need to call for help. Royal room and pampering service at my beg and call! Haha!

But everything is slowwwww, as if my normal way of doing things isn't slow enough as it is. And goodness. I've never realised, but my house has A LOT of steps. Uneven ground. Gosh, damn those steps! Moving around at home is treacherous and torturous.

This sprained ankle has put off my plans for today, including my date with my dear! Our one month anniversary! Gahh. And it's complicating my plans for next week. And and my holiday, I need to be able to WALK properly. And and and, most importantly, my outward bound korea trip!! I will really be an emo queen if even this gets taken away from me, too.

SIGH. I'm on crutches now, you know. So malu. I don't wanna bring them out! Everyone is probably going to stare at me tmr. Also, how am I going to sleep through the pain tonight? =(

I really really really need a speedy recovery. Please pray for me! Haha.

Oh well, I shall stop moping around about my stupid ankle. This should have been a good happy day. Bleagh.

On a lighter note..
HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR!

I just wanna say, thank you for being such a nice and lovely dear. Sorry for the times I made fun of you and all.. Just know that it's all harmless fun and uh, mad kow disease taking over, not me. Hahaha. I'm glad I got to know you better, although it was through the stupidest most retarded a level subject in the world, PW. Sorry we couldn't go out today! Another time yeah. (:

`QUEEN.

haha dear i see your plea!

so are we doing anything for our one month anniversary, Grace dear? (kinda weird to talk to you here instead but let's see if we have any telepathy, that you might just check the blog for updates and see this post!)
ps. but my TC thing finishes only around 3.

oh, right now it's 2 days shy of one month! LOL!

I BLOGGED.
'cess =)

Helloo! I haven't really gone online for the past few days so I didn't blog, and apparently Vicky didn't either.. Dear, where are you? Blog!! This blog seems kinda dead alr huhh. ><

Okay I am currently very impatient because my video doesn't wanna load fully! Stupid internet!


... Was reading my last post on the blog and I'm reminded of the holiday nonsense. Well, I'm going to Vietnam(bleagh, back to square one-.-) for holiday instead. It's finalised. Supposedly. Gahh. I have no feelings. I'm gonna go with a very open mind and totally no expectations. And I will only laugh if this gets cancelled, too.

Enough of this though.

I can finally watch my video.. So. Off to go fangirl-ing! Hahaha.

`QUEEN. (:

Hope is a thing with wings, is it not?
I recently came across this phrase whilst reading a fanfic, and how true it is. Hope. With wings like a chicken, I'd reckon. Lousy, powerless wings that keep trying to fly. But everytime it lifts off the ground, even by just an inch, everything just comes crashing back down to the ground.

Holidays have always been a frustrating thing, to me at least. It's always been so hard, so full of empty promises. I don't get why going on a freaking holiday is just so damn hard. Okay, I take that back. Maybe I do get why, the stupid darn reasons and all. It's always this or that, I don't know why I even bother. I really don't know what I should be feeling; tired, upset, angry, frustrated? I shouldn't be, I know. It's no one's fault. Then again, it never is anyone's.

Yeah, you all probably would have guessed already. Taiwan trip has been cancelled. Like wth. Don't ask me why, I'm so tired of all this shit. Forget it, I'll just stay in Singapore. If we're not going anywhere, it's probably better any way, in every sense of it. Save me from missing 3 trainings too.

Felt like some kind of cold joke my dad was trying to crack, but perphaps I wasn't too surprised. It came out of the blue, but these things always happen, don't they?

My parents say they're trying to plan for another one. Sure, okay. Whatever. I'm going to stop putting my hope in this, because there'd be no point in getting excited about something that may not even be confirmed.

Forget it, really. There are so many complications to going on a damned holiday. I might be a blur queen and all, but I still do see these things. And it sucks that I should be troubled over them.


You know what, I shan't bother about this for now. For now. I'm going to hopefully watch the last episode of Heroes season 2 before season 3 starts later tonight at 10pm. I have another dilemna to be troubled about, but enough is enough for one night. I'll worry about it tmr. Bleagh.

Sorry for the sort of emo post. Just needed to rant. I'm normally not such an emo queen. Lol, the irony.

How many kinds of queen can I be at a time, I wonder?

Signing off,
`QUEEN.

HELLOOO OMG OMG OMG. YOU KNOW WHAT. KIM KIBUM FROM U-KISS WAVED AT ME TWICE!!! I'M SERIOUS! I WASN'T HALLUCINATING OR ANYTHING!

Okayyy, breathe Grace, breathe. Calm down. Stop hyperventilating.



Yes hello, I am back to my normal state. Just came back from the airport not too long ago, and I am still mighty high over the experience. A long hot shower has calmed my nerves down, but replaying the scene in my head gets me high again.

Gosh, these are the times where I feel like I've really become a cfg. Crazy Fan Girl. I'm far from it, but unless you have truly seen a kpop cfg, most of you people probably find that hard to believe.

Staring at the computer screen and typing these words, I suddenly realise how tired I am, and that I have floorball training tmr morning. Well, let me try and briefly recount my kpop experience here first before hit the sack.


Starting from yesterday morning. Yeah, reading Vicky's post, I'm reminded that PW indeed is over. OP just seems pretty long ago right now.

After PW, macs breakfast with the class girls, and suntec shopping, I went to the airport to see Wonder Girls. FYI, they are a group of super dooper hot, gorgeous and sexy girls. It was ultra cool, seeing them up front. They are seriously really pretty, even without much makeup! Yoobin is totally my idol! Hahaha. She turned to the direction of my friends and I, looked at us, nodded and wave!! Super nice. The others were really pretty too, although I didn't manage to see all of them cause it all happened too fast. I took a picture, but it's really blur cause my phone is super laggy.

Went to the indoor stadium for the concert after that, and gosh I must say, the concert was a blast!! Totally awesome! Junjin and Andy from Shinhwa, Jewelry, Kim Joong Wook, 2PM, U-KISS, Wonder Girls! I even enjoyed Chaeyeon's performance! Haha okayy, you ppl probably don't know them huhh. I'm lazy and too tired to find pictures to upload here. No pictures again, cause we were sitting way too far away for my lousy phone to capture anything decent.

Went to orchard today and goodness, I kind of regretted watching High School Musical 3 today. I mean, I like the movie and all. But WRONG TIMING!!! WG was at orchard, like soooo close to where I was! They left after the movie ended. Bleagh!

Went to the airport just now to send the bands/ppl off. And omg. I totally don't regret going at all. Waiting 2 whole hours at the airport in anticipation for them to come was so worth the wait. I've a video of them coming down from the bus, and them waving at us at the viewing mall, from the checked in area.

Goshhhh I was like INCHES AWAY FROM ALL OF THEM! ANDY! SEO IN YOUNG! U-KISS! MY KIM KIBUM!!!!! AND MY OTHER CUTE CUTE GUY FROM U-KISS!!! 2PM!!!! NICKHUN!!!

And seriously. I wasn't hallucinating. When Kibum came down from the bus and walked RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, I called his name and he turned around, look at ME, smiled and waved!!!!! I swear(I mean not literally cause I'm not supposed to) I was the only one shouting his name at that point of time so it MUST have been ME he turned and waved to. FAINTS. The others were all super handsome too! But everything else was mostly a blur, even watching the video I took leaves me with giddy spells.

Ran all the way with them after they went into the airport, but they checked into the VIP area, so my friends and I rushed off to the viewing mall to wait for them. AND KIM KIBUM SMILED AND WAVED AT ME ONCE AGAIN!!! *FAINTS FAINTS* Andy and the others waved too! Hahaha. xD

Okayy goodness, it's 12.30 alr, I ought to be sleeping. Floorball training tmr, need to have energy and spirit too train hard. Cannot let coach down again. =/

Goodnight byebye, may I have lovely sweet dreams about this whole sweet experience! Lol.

Officially a u-kiss fan. And in love with kibum.
Okay really.
Ciao!

Still half in a daze,
`QUEEN. (:

PW is SO OVER! =)))

enough said about pw the horrendous subject which has tortured countless jc peeps...
on to lighter stuff. haha..

so after OP yesterday, the girls from 059, 060 and 061 went to mac to slack. during the walk to mac, the girls decided to be appreciatively lame -- sending thank you sms-es to the queenest, ms yanti, all at once. yes, that means 9 thank you smses sent at once! haha! but later, she called.. she wanted to meet us under TRC?! but we were already at mac. so in the end she could only ask like, how was it, were we able to answer the questions etc..

after nua-ing at mac for a while, we began to start discussing what to do next. kow and gang wanted to buy presents for some people in the class. (am i allowed to say that? haha. nvm right, as long as i dun say it's for who?! =X), one of their choice of present was rather interesting. haha. such that amanda had to make a phonecall to enquire about some stuff. hahaha. on the other hand, shiyun alyba and i wanted to go watch movie, high school musical! hahaha. so off we went!

guess where these two girls dragged this poor fella who lives in the east to?!! all the way to the other side of singapore! oh my dear. haha. well. the movie was okay la, information for kow who has been asking me if i have watched the movie and if i did, how it was.

---------

so today was a very good president, did tc stuff all the way at chinatown! afterwhich met the girls who were ice-skating. my self-imposed job for the day was called being the paparazzo. took a lot of photos for them.


pro skater of the day -- Alybaaa =))


helping -- Alicia waiting on the T***** (dunno if the rest of the class knows her identity, if no, then i should let it remain secret!)


look at this picture! see! these two horrible girls made Shin fall and ran away, posing for a picture to celebrate their victory! hahaha. well it is said a picture speaks a thousand words! haha.
really, it's that Shin was posing for me la! then these two girls somehow came into the picture. =)


all in black! im a nice person -- i upload the nice pictures okay! =))


at first -- all were near the railings. towards the end, they ventured further! towards the middle where i coaxed them to pose for a picture! but too far la, cant help the picture quality..

makaned shortly after! ate loads and talked loads! walked walked and surprised alybaaa with her birthday present, with Li Hui our decoy!

her shitty present (well literally!):


big picture of shiyun for certain someone's benefit! hahahah shiyun! that someone can thank me! (i sure hope Shin doesnt see this so soon!) =)))


Kai Ru is proud of her long tongue. but in this picture, im not so sure if she wants it to be seen in this way.. with angry shit?


Li Hui congratulates Alybaaa for having won the shit. =) and dun you think shit has the most expression in the all the above photos?! LOL!

okay la, we werent so mean to dear Aly la. there's other stuff within shit you know. just that i guess it wasnt captured!

so much, so long! im tired! =))) i think i pass as reporter for the day right!

Random:

- Phoebe aka royal advisor says she loves me!

- If you notice, Queen and i sorta have the same number of posts? so it's your turn now Queen! How was Kpop concert?! BLOGGG! Long blog post of anything and everything please! =)

- silent readers tagg! =)

xoxo,
'cess =)
(and im not gonna downgrade myself to be slave!)

Counting down, about 12 hours or less, TJ061 and the other 2 groups will be free from the torturous PW for like, FOREVER AND EVER! Hahaha.

Until then, we have to worry over how OP will go tmr. I'm so lazy to go through everyone's script + the op answers. Tahan tahan, it'll be over soon soon soon. Pray all will be well yeah!

Lalala, can't wait for the kpop concert tmr night!

Okay shall go rehearse again and at least scan through the op answers stuff.

Ciao! Best of luck for tmr ppl, myself included. Lol. xP

`QUEEN.

Helloooo! I'm sorry for not updating! Haven't had much time to.

"Busy lately ____________ huh.."
What's that blank meant to indicate, dearrr?

And feel free to blog about your own life and your hot family date la. Kow doesn't have to be so honoured to have every post about her! Lol. Okay I'm like replying you(Vicky) through this post..

Aha okay anyway. Holidays are here but not quite here yet. There's still the final OP to get through with. Yeah. ALL THE BEST FOR OP PPL!! 40%, go break a leg. Of course not literally though.

And. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAREST ROYAL ADVISOR, PEEBS! (:

`QUEEN.

unlike what Kow claims, Kow isnt nice lorrr. Kow and nice almost cannot be placed in the same sentence you know. Okay la, sometimes it can. =)

Queen hasnt been updating the blog too.. Busy lately ____________ huh.. Lol. =)

Random stuff:

Thinking if should upload the pictures for the class CIP ?

Jin's gonna be in a movie! Yay! But only released in 2010?! -___-" Longggg wait!

Last night was fun. (wait this is an anti-cow blog so it shouldnt include my own life right. lol)

okay need to go back to being the good secretary i have been for the last 10 months. tj061 should be happy to have such a good secretary. LOL!

freedom comes in the next 2 days, 13/08. all the best people! =))

and how could i ever forget our dearest fifth member aka royal advisor aka fifi aka phoebe? happy royal birthday phoebe! =))

xoxo,
'cess

welcome to royalattes.blogspot.com
환영! 歓迎!


Name: Grace(aka queen) and Vicky(aka 'cess)
Age: 17
Gmail: vickyandgrace@gmail.com
School: Temasek Junior College




likes
- 13/08!! <333
- STEAK
- DONGBANGSHINGI
- KAT-TUN
- Playing soccer with the class!

hates
- PW
- Chinese
- Econs
- Physics






Daphne. Kai Ru. Linda. Michelle Shiyun. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link. link.


designer: !ferris.WHEEL².♥
base codes: ♥ BONBON:D



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